All 'thanks' to my team leader, for giving me this last weekend standby. This is one of the reasons why i left this job of mine. Really tired of having those standby, juz like today. As last nite, was at my fren's chalet, din get enuff sleep at all. Got woken up at 7am, when i fell asleep at ard 4. Was in much of a daze for the whole day. Knowing my dear will read this, would definitely complain me about it... o_o" i know u wouldn't, dear...=) I digress...
Went to 2 sites, one in the morning 7am, one in the afternoon 2pm+. The first site is actually very fast, guess tat's becuz i was still very awake or something? After the 2nd site, tat's when i realise my 'keys' are missing. My house keys all tat, argh. I mean, how can this happen to me? I am clumsy at times, but i dun lose things. Esp those things that are dear to me. Went to my older sis place, to meet up wif my mum and younger sis(they have the keys). Went for dinner wif them, wif my fone ringing endlessly. Yes, it's another call. One of the reason is that i can't have a peaceful dinner, once i am on standby. It's rather strange, but everytime when i have standby on weekends. It will most probably be the way where i dun have any chance to meet my family for dinner, something will bound to come in the way.
This may sound strange to those who know me. Previously, i devoted all my time to work, believing that work will give me money, which will help my family the most. More than my presence will ever be able to help with. Guess i was wrong, and realise the fact too slow. Having thrown myself to work for the past 1 year +, i realise that i felt numb. Every nite when i goes back home, i bring all my work stress back home. And all the stress is vented on the PC, something that will never complain no matter what happens. By doing this, i neglected my family, resulting in minimal interaction. Cuz i know that if i talked to them, i would be very short tempered. This is something that not much ppl know, that i do destress using the PC(by doing what i liked, online, anime or even blog surfing). It's strange, i know. But it's effective for me.
That nite, is also the nite when we talked. Faced her problems and her fears. As we do have our differences, i can only let her know what i think and believe in. Standing in her perspective, telling her things that i went thru and believed that is meaningful, things that i always reminded myself, so as not to live life the way everybody is doing it. Which is, unfortunately, the way to waste ur life. I am juz sick of living life numbed, going thru the motions and wanted to live life to the fullest, no matter good or bad, may it be happiness or sadness. It's a simple wish, and i found it wif my dear.
p.s. I promise u, my dear, no matter how tough things go, i will be there for u whenever u needed me.