You know how some things, are supposingly laid to rest, but comes back with a vengeance when you never thought about it. The fact is, i don't face my feelings, and it often sneaks on me unexpectedly. The modi operandi for them, normally is the dead of the night, when nobody is around and my mind is idling.
Although it happened way back, around 14-5 years ago. It never crossed my conscious mind that it have been so long, i just conveniently ignored the details. Not thinking about it. And that's how it have always been, avoiding facing the fact all the while. I do appall myself sometimes, but luckily i didn't turn delusional. And as you, the reader might have deduced. It's regarding the "passing on" of my older brother.
I never did really take a good long look at my brother's picture, not to mention my dad's also. I know they are not around anymore, which is a fact. But then, i believe that i dunno how to deal with the feelings that's left. As i didn't really settled those during the funerals. As a matter of fact, "Funerals are actually meant for the living". It's meant to wrap up any unfinished feelings, and keeping a memory of the person who have passed on.
~continue later.