Met up with a prudential agent some time back, but i din write anything about it before. Just that have somewhat of an impression on her. Well, from what she said, she can more or less guess what kind a person she had interacted with. I gotta thank her again for the massage voucher she gave me, but then, i passed it to my mum(she'll have a chance to try it). She's right, i am trying too hard to 'control', is that the word for it.? Or maybe just too uptight with everything. As she put it, "Like a hand clutching sand, the harder you hold, the more it falls".
I think, maybe the way that i handle things ain't the best there is. Trying to get everything figured out, makings sure things work out. Everyday, upon opening the mailbox, wondering what bills is due to appear. I really need to relax and chill out. Before the inevitable burn-out sets in again.
Most of the time i am so exhausted to try to even act normal to people around me. At home, i'll just stay sitting in front of the computer, rather than even wanting to talk about anything. Playing the same song over and over again, just stoning there, rather than getting anything of importance done.
Well, i realised. i don't really leave people i dunno, with really good impressions. As i tend to shy away from people i dunno, to the extend of not speaking to them at all. Maybe it's because of the bad experiences i went through before...? Or maybe it's just me, not knowing which side of me to show, especially when i dunno anything about the person at all. If i am not wrong, it might be the fear of rejection acting up.
Drats...Think my life's kind fxxx-ed up....